Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
