so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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