I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
