watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
