whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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