What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
