I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
