We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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