somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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