At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
