i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
