...so i touched it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
