If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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