have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize