the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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