literally had 100 drinks last night.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
