I've blown a few things in my day
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
