my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
