Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize