I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
