Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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