Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
