so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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