omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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