My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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