There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize