I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
