Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
