ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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