Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
