btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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