i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
