If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
