I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
