Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
