I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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