i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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