Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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