he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Randomize
