I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
