The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
