If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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