So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
