She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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