love makes seman taste better
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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