He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
