Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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