He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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