Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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