nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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