I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize