THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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