Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
