I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
