shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
