We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
