Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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